How to Survive Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao Mania for the Next 7 Days:
This time next week you’ll be waking up from your usual Friday night bender to what amounts to Christmas/birthday/pro football -championship-game-that-we-legally-can’t-put-into-writing-lest-we-be-sued, all rolled into one. If you’re like me, the excitement for this fight has been at a constant simmer in your day-to-day life since its announcement. Time to fully embrace the excitement and pageantry that is Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. It’s here. It really is.
For months, I’ve been talking boxing with anyone and everyone willing to discuss this current, massive intrusion of our wonderful sport into the mainstream psyche of pop culture and entertainment. Regardless their level of familiarity, no matter how many times I’ve been told that “Merriweather” is a jerk and should lose, and regardless of the amount of times I’ve been reminded of Manny’s pistachio-shilling commercial, I’ve taken the casual fan–of both boxing and media events–under my wing.
I’m more than happy to talk the finer points of the effectiveness of the ‘Philly Shell’ with my brothers and sisters in the know, but I derive an almost unfair amount of pleasure in educating those who don’t normally follow the sport on the simplicity of the basics. I’m well aware that I’m atypical in that regard. Understandable in one way, but completely frustrating in another, the level of vitriol I’ve seen directed toward the casual fan/spectacle lover is reaching its apex this week, and it isn’t going to get any better.
So, to respect the delicate balance that is our promoting the long-term future of the sport and protecting the uninitiated, while allowing a dedicated boxing fan enjoy this special week, here’s my survival guide to Mayweather vs. Pacquiao Fight Week 2015:
Saturday & Sunday, April 25 – 26: Go, right now, to two spots on this very website and prepare a personal plan of attack for the upcoming week. Those two spots are our Rankings section as well as the Schedule of upcoming fights. Refresh yourself on the current state of the weight classes and pick out some fights to watch this week to keep the excitement level going. Find a pub or, check out HBO from your couch or, if you have the means, head out to the mecca of fighting, Madison Square Garden, to get a rare glimpse of world heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitchsko in action against a man from my backyard, Bryant Jennings. Truthfully, it shouldn’t be much of a challenge for “Dr. Steelhammer,” so focus on the pageantry and excitement surrounding a big fight. Keep this experience in mind as the week moves on.
Monday, April 27: That guy or gal at the office or your circle of friends … you know, the one who kinda can remember Oscar de la Hoya as a fighter and can recall where they were when they heard Tyson had been knocked out … they’re probably called Ken or Dierdre … they’re going to do your bidding all week. Talk them up about the Klitschko’s retention/Jenning’s world stunning upset, and quickly transition to Mayweather-Pacquiao. This is where you plant the seed and deputize them as your de facto stand-in when talking with the unwashed masses that are the “Merriweather” or Pacstachio fans or foes.
Tuesday & Wednesday, April 28 – 29: These are easily the most precarious days of your fight week because aside from there being very meaningful boxing to distract you, here is where you’re going to have to do a little legwork. See, as much as you may want to talk up boxing, and you will, you’re going to be hit with every question and theory possible, often times from folks that don’t have the slightest clue of what they’re saying. Now, if you’re like me, you may want to engage at your peril, but if that doesn’t seem appealing then this is where Ken and Dierdre come off the bench. At the first mention of someone pulling for Floyd because “he’s American and I don’t want a foreigner winning,” you mention how Ken and Dierdre are big boxing fans and really said something interesting about the fight. Boom. The thinly-veiled bigot from Accounting is now handed off to Ken and/or Dierdre and you’re free for the rest of the week. Reward yourself with an oat soda pop or two.
Thursday, April 30: Start considering your options for fight night because, friend, there will be many. From the guy with the absolutely killer home entertainment setup that may want you to throw in a little or bring some food or drinks, to the ‘come as you are’ friend that will provide everything but have everyone’s kids over, the options will be aplenty. If you haven’t already solidified plans, or don’t have a ritual you usually follow for big fights, today is the day to commit. If you’re a social being, and who among us isn’t, do yourself a favor and check out the local newspapers or a thing called Facebook to see which nearby dramshops and watering holes may be carrying the fight. For the price of a small cover charge or, even better, a couple rounds of libations, you could enjoy the fight amongst soon-to-be friends. A final piece of advice: If you are in charge of ordering the pay card, check with your cable provider to see if you can do so in advance. Some companies will allow you to place the order now which may not be a bad idea given the popularity of this event. It’s not unfathomable to imagine there may be some ordering hiccups should you wait until Saturday. Reward yourself with a scotch, preferably 10 years or older.
Friday, May 1: This is your night of rest, assuming you’re not one of the 11 non-celebrity civilians that scored a ticket to the fight. I probably should’ve prefaced this whole thing by saying that none of this applies to fight fans and hangers-on in the greater Las Vegas area. All bets are off, figuratively speaking. You’re on on your own. For the rest of us, I recommend laying low on Friday night. Your plans for tomorrow should be set, there’s plenty of boxing content you can access from your couch and, at most, you may want to consider picking up whatever it is you volunteered to bring to the festivities the following night at this point. Save your energy, friend, because you’re going to need it.
Saturday, May 2, Fight Day: Wake up. Work out. Eat. Nap. Seriously, take a nap. You’re getting older and your mom’s concerned you’re not taking good enough care of yourself. Wake up, again. Shower. Dress comfortably. If you’re traveling, do so safely both to and from the event. If you’re watching from home, pants are optional, so that’s nice. Sit down, relax, indulge in foodstuffs and drinks. Enjoy boxing history. Remember the moment. Take it all in. Regardless of the outcome, this is great for our sport. Unless it’s a draw. That would suck, and you’d have to explain it to Ken and Dierdre on Monday.
